AFLATOXIN

That sounds scary, doesn’t it? AFLATOXIN. Especially in cap locks. AFLATOXIN. That’s what they do to you, the “health field.” They make you sick to your stomach worrying about all of the potent carcinogens out there, such as AFLATOXIN, to the point where all of the worrying, stress, anxiety, and unnecessary vigilance your body undergoes is probably just as damaging as the actual ingestion of the carcinogen, itself.

What is AFLATOXIN, you wonder? To be precise, it is produced by a couple of fungi, namely, Aspergillus Flavus, and is a naturally occurring mold (or as we health professionals like to use in order to scare people: TOXIN) found on food products such as peanuts, corn, and peanut butter. It’s also been said to linger on pecans, pistachios and walnuts, in addition to milk, grains, soybeans and some spices.

Scared already? Let’s thank our favorite health “expert,” Dr. Weil, a leader in the current health-anxiety-movement, aka, FREAK people out 24 hours of the day and make TONS of money off of it.

According to Dr. Weil’s Q&A segment on his homepage, published October 22, 2002, “Aflatoxin is a potent carcinogen, known to cause liver cancer in laboratory animals and may contribute to liver cancer in Africa where peanuts are a dietary staple.”

Thanks, thanks for the update. Clearly, now that you have told me this pertinent piece of information, I will stay far, far away from anything that could contain AFLATOXIN so that I may reduce my cancer risks… As a matter of fact, while I’m at it, why don’t I also read up on the Department of Health and Human Services’ Report on Carcinogens, headed by the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences, which I have trusted as a very reputable source, and figure out all of the other crap that’s going to kill me. To name a few:

Saccharin, Ethyl acrylate, Environmental tobacco smoke, Tobacco smoking, Smokeless tobacco, Consumption of alcoholic beverages, Solar UV radiation and exposure to sunlamps and sunbeds, Crystalline silica, Strong inorganic acid mists containing sulfuric acid, Dyes metabolized to benzidine, 1,3-Butadiene, Cadmium and cadmium compounds, Ethylene oxide, Tamoxifen, Diesel exhaust particulates, Isoprene, Chloroprene, Phenolphthalein, Tetrafluoroethylene, Trichloroethylene. (Reference: 2000. Fact Sheet: The "Report on Carcinogens" - 9th edition. National Institutes of Health news release. (May 15). Available at http://www.nih.gov/news/pr/may2000/niehs-15.htm.)

Like most health info out there on the internet, news papers, magazines, I feel like our fears about aflatoxins, amongst many other carcinogenic substances, have been severely exaggerated. I am not taking anything away from the possibly carcinogenic effect of aflatoxin. Nor am I going to start smoking a pack of cigs per day and sit out in the sun for hours without consciously being aware that, yes, I am indeed killing myself.

But MY GOD, scare us and scare us some more so that we may become lab rats, ourselves, testing our own skin, hair, intestines, feet, and nails for fungi and tumors and lesions so that we can live our lives in constant fear and look up to Dr. Weil like he’s Big Brother.

Using the same safety measures as we would with any type of fresh food that we eat, I’d say that the moral of this story is to check your food for mold, sniff it for weird fungi-like odors, and put your goddamn peanut butter in the fridge!!!!!!!!!